Pouring lemonade onto an open wound — Envious
This is my concern.
Somehow I already knew who will excel in life.
I mean, it really shows.
They got all the motivation and the “provision of life.”
They have all the privileges.
They all got their families and close friends behind their backs.
They know what they want to do, they know what they can do, and will do.
They seem to be good at it.
They just seem to have things figured out.
Not me tho.
Call me ungrateful or something.
Maybe I am just unable to see what I already have.
Too blinded to see what I should have seen.
I never really know what or who I am.
What and who will I become?
Or where will all of this take me in life?
Will I be like them someday?
Will I get far?
Or will I be forever stuck in my past?
Covered in the darkness that I created for myself in the back of my head.
Unable to move on, stuck in the same cycle. My own hell.
I envy them. All of them.
Jealous of what they had and could have.
Sure we all have a different start, a different path in life.
But knowing this just brings out another concern in my head.
Why…
Why…
Why…
Why am I like this? Why was I born into this kind of trouble?
Why am I stuck here? Why can’t I be like them?
Why can’t I just have what they have?
Why can’t I have all the privilege?
Why…
Why…
Why…
I cry just by thinking that the world will keep spinning around and around and around, while I stuck here unable to move.
Tethered to my unsteady ground.
Tied up to my self-doubts, in the deepest part of my head.
