To the memory of us, that will always stay in my heart —This is about the second time (or maybe it was the third time?) I fell hard for someone

Oh, how I wish you were here with me.
Hugging me tightly while I lay my head on your tummy.
Then you run your hand on my hair, playing with it sometimes.

Oh, I miss the warmth of your body,
The smell of your vanilla perfume,
The taste of cigarettes while I kiss your lips.

This is to you, who has filled my heart with so much love and joy (and also anger and frustration at some point– But you already know that, right?)

This is my concern.

Somehow I already knew who will excel in life.
I mean, it really shows.
They got all the motivation and the “provision of life.”
They have all the privileges.

They all got their families and close friends behind their backs.
They know what they want to do, they know what they can do, and will do.
They seem to be good at it.
They just seem to have things figured out.

Not me tho.
Call me ungrateful or something.
Maybe I am just unable to see what I already have. …

Circa December 2018 — First time I fell for someone

“I once thought you were the cure to my loneliness and broken heart, but now you are the one who gives it to me” – Naela Ali (Story for Rainy Days Part III)

Teruntuk kamu, orang yang dulu aku cinta…

Orang yang menyelamatkanku dari diriku sendiri. Menyadarkanku dari gelap dan kelamnya hati.

Teruntuk kamu, yang membuatku patah hati berkali-kali, bahkan jauh setelah kau pergi. Kamu yang hanya dengan mengingat namamu saja sudah membuatku ingin menangis.

Aku kira kaulah obat dari rasa sepi yang selama ini aku rasakan, obat dari segala…